Today we have a large work gathering for the employees. I feel bad because I don’t know if I will go. I have the most nose-running, sniffly, and anxiety-laden nights and feel exhausted after two nights of 3 or fewer hours of sleep.

The even more stressful part is I have so much on my plate at work. My entire job is to look for dumpster fires and try and put them out. These are huge dumpster fires, big enough that if my actual job was on fire for real, it would be way less stressful (as in exponentially less). Anytime I am not at work working on them I get an anxiety attack.

However, the one reason I might still go is I have a few work friends I really like and I got to see them at work yesterday and I would love to see them again (but no I never want to work in the office again).

I have a hard enough time not quitting jobs and walking off, I never imagined transition would result in anything then quitting jobs every few months: all of you being there truly made my transition and reaching a work milestone happen. ❤️. I have your back if you ever need anything.

Oh and that being said, I just got my five-year award for being at my job. It was my first job in my 52 years and I hit 5 years. Before that, I had two jobs hit 4+ each, before that, the longest job was 10 months, and before that never longer than 3 months (and that is why I have over 60 jobs under my belt, plus lots of double/jobs times).

I decided to look at my photos, was curious about the physical change in the last five years, and I found two photos that are within 1 day of each between 2018 and 2023. My mostly pre-transition (I had been on hormones for a while and lost a bunch of weight) and the photos I have now (that I took later last week).

The first/older picture is what I looked like on October 2 of 2018, and after I left Pierce County after two months but before most people knew I was transitioning and the second one was October 3, 2023 (last week and almost exactly 5 years later). I left Pierce County because people in another unit were rabidly anti-trans and no one knew I was going to transition, so I thought it was better to leave. Funny to find out the place I went and knew I was trans actually was far more transphopic and I ended back up at PC.

Shit things do change but you never see it as you go.

#transitiontimeline #mtf #selfie #transselfie #disasterunicorn #feelinggoodat52 #noshoop #noshave #nomakeup