Not so slow decay of the world (dream)

I have been meaning to post for a few weeks, but work, mental health and physical health have all sucked so I guess now the reason I am posting is because of a dream. Yesterday we bought a new Subaru Forester for the hubby so we didn’t have to rely on his Kia not getting stolen (its one of those that can be broken into easily) and we don’t have to rely on my car which mechanically was just starting to fall apart, I hope to post about that actually later today.

However, it was a stressful event so by 6pm I kept falling asleep and had a horrendous set of nightmares on and off when I did fall back to sleep until I finally got up at 2am. My watch says I got 4 hours sleep in that whole time, I feel like less, but it was the same dream, just continuing the whole time. Below is not the complete dream, most of the individual little things that were horrifyingly banal are already slipping my mind, so here is just the general beats.

START DREAM

Sort of like the inky blackness, but not confined to a prison.

STOP DREAM

I woke and sat up, and for whatever reason was sad, and just sobbed for a while. Tally came over and laid against me until I got up. I wish I could remember more of the details, that always feels important but I can never quite do it. I will remember bits of it later, but even now it’s more unclear, so I will leave this dream recounting where we stand.

Can’t Help Falling in Love

I have always had nightmares and trauma dreams, pretty much as far back as I can remember. Sometimes they are filled with with violence, assault, terror and running or fighting. Sometimes there is nothing but a glimpse of something that just makes me sad.

Last night I had one of those dreams that just lasts all night. I woke up briefly but couldn’t get up around midnight, then again at 1am then 2am, finally was able to get up. The same dream the entire time.

START DREAM

STOP DREAM

The dream never ended or changed except for me to occasionally wake up. Probably didn’t help that I got to see the best gay representation episode I ever saw on TV today (episode 3 of Last of Us) after the dream. 

The way the episode ended in their bedroom was probably even rougher than it would have been without the dream. Don’t regret watching the episode, but it means I have been crying on and off all day.