50 Holiday Movies
Surprisingly better than I had anticipated.
(9/50) The Nights Before Christmas (2019) – 3 
Quote: “You may just make the nice list!”
Verdict: Not great “theater” but it is a fun slasher romp with no rape and a focus on the medical industry and the naughty list they deserve to be on.
#disasterunicorn
50 Holiday Movies
It was utter trash back then, it is more so now.
(8/50) Silent Night Deadly Night (1987) – 0
Verdict: So bad I stopped watching after 25 minutes. Four attempted rape/actual rape interactions in that first portion of the movie. I didn’t realize it back then, but now I see how bad of trash it is. Just move on.
50 Holiday Movies
Never seen it before
(7/50) Elf (2003) – 4 🌟
Quote: “Does someone need a hug”
Verdict: Never fully saw it before, and it might have been because it was a palate cleanser for Silent Night Deadly Night 2 that I really liked it
#disasterunicorn
Yep, there is only 1 lost copy of Thankskilling 2, and Turkie is looking for it.
(6/50) Thankskilling (2008) – 3 🌟
Quote: “Nice Tits Bitch, IN SPACE!!”
Verdict: This is also one of the worst of bad, but if you aren’t offended easily, it’s a fun watch.
#disasterunicorn
This time we start with the same woman, this time floating in space in a spacesuit once again with her boobs sticking out of the suit as Turkie shoots her down. Of course this is a “lost scene” from Thankskilling 2, which by the way never really existed, so this is basically a sequel of an unfilmed sequel. Also this renewed my dreams of being in movies!
I believe the writer/director of the sequel is the same, and this time he was funded by Kickstarter and already the production value is higher.
The movie is about Turkie seeking out that last copy of TK2. Also evidently creatures like Turkie exist out in the world. So many Turkie puppets. So many other puppets and animation.
Still nasty, a little tired but I love all the new puppets, and it just works for my sense of humor, so I not only give this 3 stars, I say its better than the original. However, if you don’t have my style of humor, you might want to skip it.
This is so so bad, but so so good because of it. It is its own MST3K.
(5/50) Thankskilling (2008) – 3 🌟
Quote: “Gobble Gobble Motherfucker, it’s Fowl Play.”
Verdict: This is the worst of bad, but filmed to be that so it is pretty darn good if you aren’t offended easily.
#disasterunicorn
The movie starts on what appears to be a MILF running through the forest wearing pilgrim clothes with the top ripped open to show her gigantic boobs bouncing as she ran. Harkens back to the 80s slashers, but for some reason at first I was wondering if I had accidentally clicked on a porn.
Turns out that isn’t the case as she gets murdered by a turkey with an axe, who will go on to say some damn sexist, rapey, horrific quotes, but because it was a bad special effects Turkey, I couldn’t stop snickering.
So this is absolutely a horrible movie, BUT if you are like me with a penchant to not so secretly enjoy these movies on occasion, then you will like it.
It also confirmed to me, that I desperately want to have a 2 minute part in a movie running away with my boobs bouncing around as I get murdered by something (turkey isn’t preferred, but I am 52 so I will take what I can get). I also find it funny that was a goal my transmasc hubby had as well before he transitioned, I probably just imprinted that desire from him.
Now this is a Christmas War Movie
(4/50) Joyeux Noel (2005) – 3
Quote: “Our artillery will shell you in 10 minutes, so I suggest you come shelter in my trench.”
Verdict: Excellent Holiday war movie showing the futility of war and how similar all people are.
#disasterunicorn #christmasmovie #warmovie
Christmas time in 1914 is always a widely celebrated event in World War I, where the Germans/Austrians and the Allied troops both stop fighting, against their commander’s orders, to both celebrate Christmas.
Yes, of course the actual events didn’t quite unfold (I have covered this partially in my YouTube channel for World War I) but it was close enough to the truth to still feel right, and also to point out how he vast majority of our wars are manufactured by rich people to fight other rich people but not to endanger those rich people, just the poor fools who are too poor to avoid war.
Definitely a good holiday film, if not what a lot of people want to watch because of how heavy it can be.
I was lied to, it isn’t a Christmas War movie, but a War movie set during Christmas, sadly no real Xmas involved.
(3/50) Stalag 17 (1953) – 3 🌟
Quote: “There are two people in this barracks who know I didn’t do it. Me and the guy that did do it.”
Verdict: Only good for nostalgia, if you watched it as a kid back in the 70s.
#disasterunicorn #christmasmovie #warmovie #movealong
I always have a thing for old war movies. My grandfather and dad would watch them on TV a lot, and mostly they were a blur to me. I thought the movie was kind of dumb, slow and not realistic at the age of 8, and guess what, it still is.
It is rife with sexist assholes, portraying the Germans and the Americans as both dumb, and removed any reality to the situation. While it is supposed to be based on a book of a real prisoner of war camp, even then in the 1950s there were complaints it was dumbed down.
Sadly, it won an Oscar, and that shows me that Oscars don’t really mean much. Don’t get me wrong, I really like William Holden and there were other movies he deserved an Oscar, but not that.
My faith has been restored!
(2/50) Violent Night (2022) – 4 🌟
Quote: “Santa’s coming to town!”
Verdict: You need to watch it, and not just because David Harbour is awesome!
I knew this would be good, my friends had seen. it and if they liked it, it meant it was worth it. I love anything with David Harbour, and especially with John Leguizamo. It was a lot of fun, and there is evidently a sequel in the mix. I am going to get hate for it, but I like it better than Die Hard.
#disasterunicorn #christmasmovie
Well, here we are, the first of the reviews for holiday movies… OMG, we started with the worst.
(1/50) Krampus vs Bigfoot (2021) – 1 Star
Quote: “I have good old fashioned American Spirit boiling in my soul…”
Verdict: Oh dear god don’t watch it.
It was a CGI movie, with horrible voice acting, 1990s video game cutscene level of bullshit that only tangentially mentioned Christmas, but did involve a lot of stupid cameos of other holidays.
#disasterunicorn #whatdidijustwatch
Tales From The Little Blue House 