Pic of hubby actually asking to marry me. August 25, 1992
FLASHBACK FRIDAY AUGUST 25, 1992 – DESCRIPTION
FBF 8/25/92
Snapped this of hubby when he asked me to marry him. The biggest decision of my life, and not once in 31 years have I ever considered it anything but the right one.
This is a day 2 post following my TBT post yesterday. I mentioned a picture of him actually asking me to marry him. It was funny though, the picture was an accident in timing. This wasn’t something I intended to catch on camera. I always wonder if he remembers it much differently than me, maybe I will ask him after this post goes up.
We were sitting on the couch, the hubby had been talking with me and had been asking me leading questions. I was a dumbass 20 year old who wasn’t sure which way was up so I didn’t catch it (much like when he first got me to date him).
We had broken up for six months and had only been back together a couple months at most. I had never even considered he would ask me to marry him. When we first got together, while I was still an asshole and we hadn’t figured out how to be best friends and be romantic, I had asked him to marry me and he had turned me down. I don’t even think it was a no to me, but rather to the whole idea of being married, and honestly it was the right choice.
So I had been taking photos of him all day, just enjoying being with him when he leaned over and asked if I would marry him. I don’t even remember taking the photo, I just felt myself freeze on the other end. It only took me a few seconds at most to say yes of course, but it was one of those movie scenes where everything slowed down to a crawl for me.
One other funny thing I remember, I was told we needed to buy big rings for each other by several couples to show how much we loved each other. We bought each other $20 silver bands from the Silver Source in the mall and never even had engagement rings.
Funny enough same couples sort of derided the fact that our wedding was done by a judge, and they spent a lot of money on theirs. Now I look back, 31 years later and we are the only couple still together that was involved in those conversations, and I can’t say there isn’t a bit of, “bitch we knew what we needed to do” in my head about that.
Once again I love you garden rat. I love you more than anything, no matter what.
Just hours before he asked me to marry him. August 25, 1992
THROWBACK THURSDAY AUGUST 25, 1992 – DESCRIPTION A fav pic of my hubby pre-transition. He broke up with me for being an asshole at 19, 6 months later he came back we worked it out. Later this day he proposed to me.
THE STORY
I grew up in a violent life, bikers, drugs, guns shoved in my mouth when a group tried to kill my family, a contract on our family for more than 3 years that caused us to be homeless and broke any stability our family had. In addition I had done things I probably won’t ever forgive myself for the club.
I realize this all sounds like a Hallmark Channel movie, or maybe one of those documentaries that talk about someone lost to the system. I very easily could have reached that point, if not for the man I am married to. At the time he was still in his fawn spots and appeared like a hot little punk girl, but either way he is the single largest reason my life turned out as good as it has.
When I was 19, I had gotten out of a toxic relationship, was traumatized by my family life, and had no real stability. My hubby, who at the time was my best friend I hadn’t seen in awhile came back into my life and we started dating for about 9 months. During that time I worked so many hours that it basically covered my insomnia problems. Due to all the factors in my life, I was an asshole boyfriend. Not physically abusive, but an asshole sometimes, and without the ability to communicate well. I also was not a good roommate with him during that time.
Rightfully so, my partner at the time (hubby) dumped me and we split up for six months. In that six months I had found different work, gotten away from my family for a bit and settled. I figured he was out of my life and I had lost my best friend and best partner. I am fortunate that he missed me as well and came back. We got together again and I moved in with him.
I took a series of photos on August 25, 1992 and these are some of my favorite pre-marriage photos. I even got a photo of him proposing (I sometimes put that up, maybe I will for Flashback Friday). This was taken a few hours before that when we were sitting in our room and he was being especially loving and flirty. I didn’t realize that the most important question in my entire existence then and now would be asked a few hours later.
All I cared about was the smile on his face I saw, and the look in his eyes. He still gives that to me today, 31 years later. That look is what made my life a win, no matter how horrible or shitty it gets in the past or in the future, that look made me win life already, the rest is just gravy.
I love you garden rat. I love you more than anything, no matter what.
Overall yesterday, the hubby and I’s 31st wedding anniversary (Halloween) went amazingly well.
I don’t think I can explain or emphasize how much I love my husband. He is the greatest person in the world, and if I ever end up dating other people (we are poly) they are going to have to accept that fact. We have been together through so much, and are best friends, lovers, spouses, and family.
We started off the day pretty good, I got dressed up, even wore an old Halloween costume corset that for $40 or less still works really good. I did find that I am not built like the average cis woman again because I am way too tall. However I will fix that with a custom corset from Period Corsets this year. Probably get a couple in different colors.
The hubby picked me up some gifts including a spoon holder for my coffee spoon, a box of fancy candy corn, a makeup bag skeleton couple, and the most beautiful jewelry box with a skeleton couple, and his love.
We then went to the Washington State History Museum in Tacoma for our Anniversary fun time. We had a great time, wandered around the natural disaster area, learned a lot I didn’t realize (and we both agreed we want to take a road trip by this summer to hit all 12 spots in WA state). Looked through the native indigenous displays, trains and some other cool stuff.
From there we went across the street to Tim’s Kitchen and had a great lunch. Our waitress was a Harlequin costumed lady who was nice. However I loved meeting the fabulously flamboyant boy that was also a waiter. He smiled as I walked by going to the table, then spun around when he noticed my tall blue boots and asked me “girl, that is some nice boots”. We talked about the boots a bit, I complimented him on his taste, he complimented me on mine and it was a FABULOUS QUEER MOMENT.
It is funny, the only people I am around that I never second guess what they are saying (or they outright are saying double meanings) are queer people. I told the hubby he needs to take me to The Mix sometime soon so I can try out being around my umbrella queer tribe more in depth.
We got home and I did have a hiccup. I need new life insurance, so 6 weeks before my old plan ran out (since the term is over they tripled the next year’s price). For six weeks the new life insurance broker and agency fucked around kept asking for more stuff, when this was supposed to be one of those “no checkups needed” insurance quotes.
Finally the hubby and I decided to cancel the new quote and I just paid triple price this year and will start looking sooner by the end of it. That was two weeks ago, well yesterday I got an official “we are not going to take your insurance” letter from the agency.
The reason was because I am transgender, on hormones and have anxiety. Of course I would have anxiety due to being transgender, so the real reason they declined was my trans status. They even sent the denial letter to “Mr. A Girl U Should Know” (name retracted for the few who can’t figure out easy google for my name).
I don’t even know if this is legal in WA state, most insurance requirements specifically in Washington do not allow denial of services to trans people, but the life insurance HQ is in Iowa, so not sure the rules, but I did submit a complaint to WA State OIC.
That trashed me for a couple of hours, but it is my 31st Wedding Anniversary and Halloween. We had 30 full size candy bars waiting for trick or treaters, plus a huge bowl of normal small candy and I was excited again. Unfortunately life has been rather busy this year so we only had some lawn lights in orange and purple for decorations, also we heard not many trick or treaters in the neighborhood.
So the hubby and I split a bottle of wine, and sat in our living room watching Youtube (also there might have been some nice edibles for me…”. We figured we would wait until 8pm, if no kids showed we would just shut down and go to bed.
We were both happily surprised when we started getting kids. They were all excited about the full size candy bars and we could hear them shrieking into the night with their parents telling other kids we had full size candy bars, so things began to pick up, and for the first time in 20 years I got to give out candy to more than our next door neighbor.
WE BOTH LOVED IT.
We did shut down around 8pm, mostly because we were tired, and we assumed the kids were coming to an end. Although as the hubby pulled the lawn lights, he did hear kids in the distance talking they were disappointed we were shutting down. We were down to 2 full size candy bars (the hubby had eaten one, so that’s how I know we gave out 27, meanwhile I had been chowing down on small candies all night).
This means next year I am probably going to buy triple the candy bars, but also super decorate and light up the house. I think we will easily attract that many, because I noticed a lot of the kids weren’t walking down the street but parents were actually driving through neighborhoods. I saw a lot of cars drive by that didn’t stop with us, but I am sure that is because we really didn’t look very festive.
I am so happy to own a house and be in a residential (albeit super close to non-residential goodness) neighborhood. I am really looking forward to next Halloween, and I have a lot of plans (mostly I want to make sure we are home on halloween because I really want to give kids candy).
I do realize part of it is the joy of the holiday, also part of it is probably an attempt to connect with kids, even though I will never have kids, and never be a mother, I think I would have been a great mother (much better than I would have been a father, but I would have been good at that). I like having that connection for limited parts.
Maybe by next year relations with family (not siblings) will be at a point I can at least see my older nephews and nieces.
The one other thing I am happy about is I finished my 50 movies of Halloween and I haven’t watched that much media in that short a time in years. I found I really enjoyed it, even the bad movies/shows, so I think I will keep on the tradition by doing 50 movies of the holidays (any of the holidays post Halloween until January 1st). Of course I doubt there will be many Hallmark movies, I can’t be normal, not even like that.
I took a few pictures yesterday of me and the hubby. I didn’t want to be rude in the museum, but I did take some outside and I think I might post a gallery up of that.
Once again though, I cannot reiterate this enough, I love my little garden rat so much. Being married 31 years, being together for almost two years on and off before that, and being best friends for 2 years before that means I have already won at life. I could lose everything right now, die horribly, and I beat out 99% of those in the world, and I will die with a smile on my face, and two middle fingers flipping off this fucked up world.
Wow, that got dark, but it wasn’t supposed too… It was a great 31st anniversary.
Tales From The Little Blue House 