TBT 11/16/23 and My Forever Love

THROWBACK THURSDAY AUGUST 25, 1992 – DESCRIPTION
A fav pic of my hubby pre-transition. He broke up with me for being an asshole at 19, 6 months later he came back we worked it out. Later this day he proposed to me.

THE STORY

I grew up in a violent life, bikers, drugs, guns shoved in my mouth when a group tried to kill my family, a contract on our family for more than 3 years that caused us to be homeless and broke any stability our family had. In addition I had done things I probably won’t ever forgive myself for the club.

I realize this all sounds like a Hallmark Channel movie, or maybe one of those documentaries that talk about someone lost to the system. I very easily could have reached that point, if not for the man I am married to. At the time he was still in his fawn spots and appeared like a hot little punk girl, but either way he is the single largest reason my life turned out as good as it has.

When I was 19, I had gotten out of a toxic relationship, was traumatized by my family life, and had no real stability. My hubby, who at the time was my best friend I hadn’t seen in awhile came back into my life and we started dating for about 9 months. During that time I worked so many hours that it basically covered my insomnia problems. Due to all the factors in my life, I was an asshole boyfriend. Not physically abusive, but an asshole sometimes, and without the ability to communicate well. I also was not a good roommate with him during that time.

Rightfully so, my partner at the time (hubby) dumped me and we split up for six months. In that six months I had found different work, gotten away from my family for a bit and settled. I figured he was out of my life and I had lost my best friend and best partner. I am fortunate that he missed me as well and came back. We got together again and I moved in with him.

I took a series of photos on August 25, 1992 and these are some of my favorite pre-marriage photos. I even got a photo of him proposing (I sometimes put that up, maybe I will for Flashback Friday). This was taken a few hours before that when we were sitting in our room and he was being especially loving and flirty. I didn’t realize that the most important question in my entire existence then and now would be asked a few hours later.

All I cared about was the smile on his face I saw, and the look in his eyes. He still gives that to me today, 31 years later. That look is what made my life a win, no matter how horrible or shitty it gets in the past or in the future, that look made me win life already, the rest is just gravy.

I love you garden rat. I love you more than anything, no matter what.

Forever and Always ❤